First Visit to the Fitness Center

Pounds lost since January 1st - 0
Days until my 50th birthday - 138

Prof. Wonderful decided that the way to kick off the new year was a trip to 24-Hour Fitness. That meant I had to hurry up and get out of my pajamas and brush away the cake crumbs before he got to my house.

I thought fitness centers would still be quiet as people took advantage of the long holiday weekend to stuff themselves with leftover Christmas cookies and finish the last of the eggnog. Not these folks! Most of them looked like they had no problem passing the cookie platter. In fact, a lot of them looked like they didn't eat very often at all.

Prof. Wonderful and I got on adjacent treadmills and after my 5-minute warm-up, I hit 3.5, my usual speed for a workout. Problem was, I only lasted about 30 seconds instead of 30 minutes. What have they done to the machines since I've last visited? The speeds had to be off; I felt like I was running uphill. I nonchalantly brought the speed down to 3.0. Luckily, Prof. Wonderful keeps so busy checking out his own heart rate every 30 seconds that he didn't notice at first. When he did notice that I seemed to be going sort of slow, I cursed the blasted machines saying this was as fast as the machine could go and it needed to be fixed.

When I wasn't trying to stay on the treadmill, I was thinking of how delicious a frosty cold Dr. Pepper would taste when I got home. Drat that high fructose corn syrup that was contributing to my belly fat. Even found it in my so-called healthy cereal this morning. Seems it will take some time to weed this culprit from my pantry.

STRATEGY #6 - Find a workout partner. Find lots of workout partners and do different, fun activities with each. I've had workout partners who like to power walk the mall (this can get expensive if the stores are open) and others who like to push a stroller through the park. It's all good.

AFFIRMATION #6 - "Every person in my life supports my healthy lifestyle."

The Law of Attraction Really Works!

The Law of Attraction teaches us that what we focus on grows. My question is this: WHO HAS BEEN FOCUSING ON MY BEHIND? Because it's definitely growing!

A friend of mine, whom I now lovingly refer to as, "She's dead to me," said wasn't it funny how I started a blog in 2009 about losing weight and I've actually gained some weight since then. If my hands hadn't been busy trying to get the last piece of brownie out of the baking pan, she would have been in real trouble.

The good news is the Law of Attraction really does work and it's true - what we focus our attention on grows. Key is focusing on what I want - to have a slimmer, more healthy body filled with vitality. Truth is, I spend a lot of 2009 focusing on what I didn't want - like brownies. I'd focus so much attention on those brownies that I "didn't want" that I was burning my mouth because I couldn't wait for them to cool from the oven.

Each day is a new beginning and a new chance to choose how we will live our lives. Today is the dawning of a new year and a new decade. Today I can make one small change that will make a difference by the next time the ball drops at Times Square. Today I choose to focus on a strong, healthy body and I know one way to do that is to cut out high fructose corn syrup from my diet.

For companies like Nestle, Coke, etc., it's a cheap way to make what we eat and drink taste sugary good. Problem is, doctors now think it short-wires the mechanism that tells us we're full so we keep on eating. That's good news for the manufacturers: they load their foods and drinks with a nonnutritious sweetener that makes us keep eating. It's like crack for foodies!

Sodas are first to go (and I love me some Dr. Pepper). That's a small change, but for today, it's enough. Wishing you enough in this wonder-filled New Year.

STRATEGY #5: Focus on what you want to create in your life.

AFFIRMATION #5: My body is filled with health and vitality.

5 Sure-Fire Ways to Lose Weight During the Holidays

Studies show that Americans pack on two- to three-pounds during the holidays. What a bunch of wimps! I can do that in a weekend. Haven't these so-called "Americans" ever heard of fried turkeys? Sweet potato pie? 5-cheese mashed potatoes with cheese gravy?

Like most, I look forward to celebrating this sacred holiday by tithing heavily at Best Buys and other major retailers. And this year I've had lots of opportunities since retailers started decorating for Christmas before Halloween. Who doesn't enjoy hearing Christmas carols ringing gaily through the store while buying suntan lotion in July? Without that reminder, I just might forget that Christmas is coming; that is, if every radio and TV commercial didn't remind me that the best way to show someone I care this holiday season is by giving big gobs of my money to a store. This year I plan to avoid the hassles of shopping and just send my money directly to the stores. Maybe I'll send a JCPenney's giftcard to Macy's and visa versa.

But getting back to the diet tips, I have indeed found a way to actually lose weight during the holidays, during vacations, and during any other time that you might want to actually enjoy food. Grab a pen and paper, you'll want to write this down:

1) Eat with a vegan.
2) Eat with a vegan.
3) Eat with . . . . oh, you get the idea.

Vegans are people who for health or ethical reasons do not eat meat, dairy or any food with actual flavor. They do eat something made from bean curd that they laughingly call, "tofurkey." It's well known that tofurkey is a leading cause of convulsions among friends of vegans who unwittingly have tried this "food," so, you see, it's not really a laughing matter.

This year, I celebrated two Thanksgivings; one filled with sugar, butter and lard the way our forefathers intended, and one with my vegan partner, Prof. Wonderful. Let me be clear - I am very grateful to have Prof. Wonderful in my life. But I am also very grateful that King Sooper's was open on my way home so I could truly start the holidays in style - with chocolate-covered Ritz crackers. Yes, this really is at a supermarket near you this holiday season! My heart almost stopped when I saw them; and that was before I ate them! And yes, everything does taste better on a Ritz. Geez, maybe I should give that tofurkey another try.

What happened?!?

There I was, cheerfully planning how I was going to be Fit by Fifty! That was in May. And then came my birthday. Even if you're dieting, everyone knows you get to have cake on your birthday. Nothing wrong with that, except . . .

I ran out of ice cream before I ran out of birthday cake, so I had to buy more ice cream. What's a girl to do? Next, I was out of cake but I had some ice cream left. Had to get some brownies to go with the ice cream. This makes complete sense somehow in my mind.

Then, after all the sugar, I needed to cleanse my system and everybody knows salt is an excellent cleaner. Just check out any "natural cleaning" blog; you'll see. I chose my salt in the format of potato chips. But they looked so sad and bare so I bought them some dip. (This also added food groups to my daily snack - now I had vegetables, dairy and MSG (well, the government might as well declare it a good group; it's in everything!).

This cycle has continued until . . . just now. When I tried to get a pair of jeans on - and they are already THE FAT JEANS. OK, here we go again!

DIETING TIP: Do not try on jeans after ingesting a Family-Sized! bag of Fritos.

Hummus Among Us

This week I wanted to prepare a delicious picnic lunch for my boyfriend, Professor Wonderful. Only one problem - he's a vegan-plus. Not content to be just a vegan, which roughly translates as a person who can never order off the 99-cent menu at a drive-thru, he's also cut out sugar, salt, fat and dairy from his diet. He claims it makes him healthy. I know it makes me crazy.

I love black beans, so black bean dip sounded like a good picnic starter. Not wanting to let things wait until the last minute, I began hunting for the can opener for the sugar-free, no-salt added, organic black beans 10 minutes before Prof. Wonderful was due to arrive. I couldn't find it anywhere - not in the cutlery drawer, not in the dishwasher, not under the sofa cushions or behind the bedroom pillows. I started to panic but being a woman of action I went to the next step - cutting up the onion (organic, of course). One cut into the onion and my eyes started to sting, two cuts and my nose started to run. The smell of sulphur was overwhelming but I'm courageous - I kept cutting, even as my mascara ran in great black rivers down my cheeks. I wondered why police use tear-gas when organic onions are so cheap and easily available?

I soon gave that up and decided to cut up the cilantro. Oh yeah, problem there too. I don't actually know what cilantro looks like and there was no one to help me in Organico food store, so I ended up buying parsley instead. It's green and leafy, much like I assume cilantro is, so it seemed like a good choice.

When Prof. Wonderful arrived I greeted him at the door looking like I was made-up for an Ozzy Osbourne concert and handed him his picnic lunch - two cans of unopened black beans and some cut parsley and killer onions. He pretended not to notice the new "look" and brought in the homemade hummus because store-bought - at 3 grams of fat per serving - is too high in fat and salt. Yes, you read that right and yes, he's a bit off the deep end. (Let the sympathy letters to me begin). And we eat the hummus on either unsprouted, no salt, no fat, no taste cardboard - which he calls "bread", or no fat, no salt "chips."

Prof. Wonderful is very much into recycling and sometimes I really wonder if his recycling includes passing off old pieces of cardboard as chips and bread. He claims no, but you gotta wonder . . . As for me, I'm headed for a Happy Meal - extra salt and fat, please!

STRATGEGY #5:
Don't be like me and wait until the last minute to prepare a gourmet picnic. Start at least 15 minutes before guests arrive.

AFFIRMATION #5:
I move toward my new way of eating with ease, grace and laughter.

Affirmations are a powerful way to create what you want in your life. It's not enough to just say the affirmation, you've got to feel it. Feel the excitement, the joy, the passion as you are creating the life you want to live. Say this affirmation out loud until you feel its truth. Shout it until the neighbors think you are crazy. Say it while dancing around the living room. It's your life. Live out loud!

Regrets, I've had a few

It's been a few days since I've written because I've been getting ready to get ready to change my lifestyle. Right now I am filled with regret for what I have not experienced in life - a Big Mac that was actually hot and tasty, the newest brands of Ben & Jerry's ice cream, steak tartar - well, maybe not that.

But thinking about everything that I won't be eating when I start toward being Fit by Fifty has filled me with longings and cravings I thought long-gone. Last week I experienced the wonders of Del Taco and Jack in the Box while I still could. Truth is, I haven't been missing much, but that didn't stop me in my quest.

I've always wanted to try the pimento cheese spread from King Sooper's. Cheesy deliciousness! But is it better on tortilla chips or potato chips? Warm or cold? Inquiring stomachs want to know! I filled my grocery basket with everything I saw that looked delicious. Then I just stared filling it with anything that looked edible that might not be allowed on my diet. Marinated olives, potato skins - the grocery store have made otherwise healthy foods unhealthy and I am lovin' it! As I chow down, I think about the months ahead and the healthy foods I will be eating. I consider saving the cardboard boxes of the new Pillsbury Savorings that I have been trying one by one (all of them Rock!), thinking the cardboard can be prime snacking material - full of fiber and just as delicious as any fat-free, salt-free rice cracker I've ever tried. Chocolate cheesecake, I hardly knew ye! My birthday isn't til next week - I gotta make another run to the store.

STRATEGY #4:
Recycle the empty pizza boxes and soda cans before you tell family and friends about your new endeavor to be Fit by Fifty!

AFFIRMATION #4:
I choose to eat foods that taste delicious and nourish my body.
Affirmations are a powerful way to create what you want in your life. It's not enough to just say the affirmation, you've got to feel it. Feel the excitement, the joy, the passion as you are creating the life you want to live. Say this affirmation out loud until you feel its truth. Shout it until the neighbors think you are crazy. Say it while dancing around the living room. It's your life. Live out loud!

Valerie or Kirstie?

Middle-aged men around the country who had crushes on pixie-cute Valerie Bertinelli in their youth mourned when they learned that alas, she was human and gained not just a rock star husband but weight as she grew older.

I personally felt a bit of secret glee when I first saw her on the Jenny Craig commercials. I mean, come on. Absolutely adorable as a teen, in a hit TV show, marries a rock star, has a terrific son. Every guy I knew in high school had a crush on her. By secret glee I mean walking around home and office saying, "Hey! Valerie Bertinelli is fat!" "Did you see her picture? She's FAAAT." I really liked that when I held her picture up it hid a little bit of my fat.

Then last week I saw her bikini picture. Now it's my turn to mourn. She's baaack. Gorgeous, buff, and happy with life even without the rock star husband. She's modeling on a surf board and I want to hide behind it.

Worst of all, Kirstie Alley, the woman who got Valerie on board with losing weight, admitted yesterday on Oprah that she put on all the weight she had lost and more. Kirstie took to her bed for 24 hours after seeing the newest pics of Valerie's blazin' bod. I feel like doing the same, but sadly I don't have any servants who will fetch me french fries and soda while I mourn.

Now, I have a choice. Do I want to be Valerie or Kirstie? The difference between the two is that Valerie kept working. Kirstie moved her workout equipment out of her home into her garage and never looked at it again. Valerie kept working. Kirstie stopped counting calories and began to eat what she wanted, not what her body wanted. Valerie kept working.

So, which do I choose? Fit or Fat? Which do you choose? Valerie's way sounds like a lot of work to me. Chocolate helps me think. I think I'll work my way over to the fridge and get some chocolate to help me think. Note to self: How many calories are burned off by walking from the computer to the fridge? Perhaps skipping over would help my calorie-burning count for the day. Ingenuous!

STRATEY #3: Find people who motivate you and copy what they do. Who inspires you? Valerie is certainly an inspiration. But what about somebody who motivates you for the way they live their life? For how they show up in this world? On a poster board or in a notebook, put in pictures of people who motivate you. What do they do that you want to? Be a copy cat. Live "as if" you are that person. It's fun and it opens to you the possibility that you can indeed life a rich life, even if you haven't married a rock star.

AFFIRMATION #3: Today I am inspired to live my best life.

Affirmations are a powerful way to create what you want in your life. It's not enough to just say the affirmation, you've got to feel it. Feel the excitement, the joy, the passion as you are creating the life you want to live. Say this affirmation out loud until you feel its truth. Shout it until the neighbors think you are crazy. Say it while dancing around the living room. It's your life. Live out loud!